Breyanna Leigh Knoll (nee Reitmeyer), 22, Indianapolis, passed away on, April 14, 2010 due to Restless Applicant Syndrome (RAS). It was a long fought illness that she lived with for nearly a year, from the time she sent in her Peace Corps application until today when she passed frustratedly at work.
Knoll was born in Vincennes, Indiana on June 5, 1987, to Phillip and LaNnedda Reitmeyer. She was a graduate of Central High School and graduated from the University of Evansville with a Bachelor of Fine Arts Degree in creative writing. Although her major in college was fun but completely devoid of career prospects, she went on to complete graduate courses and volunteer work in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages.
She is survived by her grandparents, who warned her of impending death due to the Peace Corps, her parents, her brother, her pets Emo and Sammy, and her husband, Timothy Knoll. Timothy also suffers from RAS, although his diagnosis is much less severe and doctors have declared he will survive only because of his enormous amount of patience, the only known antidote to RAS. They believe his ability to take life’s unpredictability as it comes is directly related to his time spent with four siblings.
Their pets are tentatively diagnosed with RAS, as they know something is happening but are unsure of what to expect. However, the only known animal symptoms of RAS are extremely weird behavior such as peeing when petted, literally biting the hand that feeds you, and identity confusion. They have been doing those things their entire lives, so it is impossible to tell whether or not they are true carriers of the disease.
There will be no visitation because of the extreme gruesomeness of her death. Coworkers surrounding her desk say her last words were “If someone asks me where I’m going one more time, I think my head’s going to explode!” Someone did, and it did. Her body will be transported to Africa for burial. However, it is yet to be determined what country she will be buried in, and family members have only decided the funeral will occur sometime in August.